Sunday, 10/25/2026

DEALING WITH YOUR ANGER

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.”

(Ephesians 4:26, ESV)

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise person holds it in check.”

(Proverbs 29:11, CSB)

The average adult experiences about 14 anger episodes per week.

Anger itself is not sin. Jesus got angry. God is described as angry hundreds

of times in the Old Testament.

The real issue is not getting rid of all anger, but learning to express it in

non-destructive ways.

Four Common Ways People Express Anger

The Exploder

Genesis 4:3–5 (ESV) – “In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an

offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of

his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his

offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very

angry, and his face fell.”

Genesis 4:8 (ESV) – “Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in

the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him.”

The Concealer

Clams up; denies and swallows anger; “crock-pot” style – stewing on the

inside.

Physical cost: high blood pressure, ulcers, headaches, and other illnesses.

Key thought: “That burns me up!” – It’s not so much what you eat as what

eats you.

The Martyr

Self-punishing and passive; thinks “It must be my fault.”

Depression is often internalized anger.

Luke 15:28 (ESV) – “But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came

out and entreated him.”

The Manipulator

Motto: “Don’t get mad—get even.”

Luke 6:11 (ESV) – “But they were filled with fury and discussed with one

another what they might do to Jesus.”

All four patterns are learned and can be unlearned.

How to Deal with Your Anger

Understand Why I Get Angry

Proverbs 19:11 (ESV) – “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his

glory to overlook an offense.”

Anger is a warning light pointing to deeper issues:

Hurt – Physical or emotional pain. The deeper the pain, the deeper the

anger.

Frustration – When things don’t go your way, delays, or “Murphy’s Law.”

Ask: “Is this really worth getting angry over?”

Insecurity – Feeling threatened, embarrassed, or criticized.

Look to God, Not Others, for My Self-Worth

Insecure people are easily angered; confident people are not.

Ecclesiastes 7:21–22 – “Don’t pay attention to everything people say—you

may hear your servant talking bad about you, and you know yourself that

you have talked bad about other people many times.”

Proverbs 14:26 (GNB) – “Reverence for the Lord gives confidence and

security to a man and his family.”

When your worth is rooted in God’s love and purpose, other people’s

opinions lose their power to trigger anger.

Stop and Think Before Reacting

Proverbs 13:16a – “Sensible people always think before they act.”

Proverbs 29:11 (CSB) – “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise

person holds it in check.”

Delay your response.

Ask three questions:

Why am I angry?

What do I really want from this encounter?

How can I best get it?

Anger is a choice. Quit blaming others and accept responsibility.

Learn to Relax

Proverbs 14:30a (NLT) – “A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body.”

Be aware when tension is building.

Use relaxation techniques and aerobic exercise.

Develop a sense of humor.

Don’t sweat the small stuff—and realize most things are small stuff.

Continually Ask God for Help (Most Important)

Galatians 5:22 – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience…”

Whatever is inside comes out when pressure is applied.

Jesus heals the roots:

Replaces hurt with His love.

Replaces frustration with His peace. John 14:27 (ESV) – “Peace I leave with

you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not

your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

Replaces insecurity with His power and confidence.

Being filled with the Spirit leaves no room for destructive anger.